The marital abuse and divorce rates are the same for Christians and non-Christians. Why? How can this be true IF we are disciples of Christ and following God’s word? During COVID, “Domestic violence cases increased by 25-33% globally in 2020. Nearly 20 people per minute.” UAB News, Health & Medicine, The pandemic is increasing intimate partner violence. Here is how…
I told my pastor that my husband constantly called me names. When I told my husband his words hurt me, he dismissed my feelings and said I needed to quit being so sensitive. I shared the abuse charges from a police report with my pastor. My pastor condemned me for smearing my husband’s good name, a church deacon, by going…
Turn the other cheek. Suffering is being like Jesus Submit to your husband, who is the head of your marriage Many Christians blindly share verses with people struggling in their painful relationships with the hope that they are helping. However, when you share Scripture without knowing the health or reality of their relationship, you can inflict spiritual abuse. God’s Truth…
Growing up in the 1940s on a Native American Indian reservation in complete poverty, disrespect, and devaluing brought my mother many challenges. The decades of public shame and humiliation by white people for being tanned skin and Native American carved deep wounds in her heart and soul. Unfortunately, my mother also faced the pain and realities of growing up with…
“How did I end up here at the hospital? My husband and I are both Christians, so how could he beat me?” As we enter into October, Domestic Abuse Awareness month, Christians need to realize that just because you or your spouse receive salvation doesn’t mean abuse could never happen. So, what is really going on? Abuse Statistics Are the…
Abuse/Domestic Violence, Faith Struggles and Strengthening, Fear, Love and Marriage Christian, Relationships, Struggles, Uncategorized
What Does it Mean to Love like Jesus in Your Marriage?
July 15, 2021
My husband says he loves me, yet, his words and actions don’t feel like love. I’m trying to love him like Jesus, but what does that really mean as a wife and a husband? Realization Creates Opportunity When I think of how many times I asked myself this question in my previous unhealthy marriage, I’m reminded of how confused I…
Whether we realize it or not, we choose our attitude from our feelings and beliefs about who we believe we are. Where we get our identity determines the value we place on ourselves and others. There are two value extremes people can be pulled into without realizing it.
We may also fall into operating from a Messiah fantasy because of the wounds we have endured. If you fear being alone or abandoned, you will often rationalize abuse to avoid feeling this pain. You may also live in a Messiah fantasy if you have learned that love is something you must earn by helping, serving, sacrificing, and gaining people’s approval.
A love denial fantasy is created to avoid facing truths that may bring feelings of abandonment, rejection, or ending the relationship in divorce. A love denial fantasy can be stronger if the victim believes God will be disappointed or mad at them if they don’t submit to their abusive spouse or get divorced. These spiritual lies come from misquoted and misused verses, often by the abuser, to keep the victim in their control through fear.