God is NOT mad at you. His will is not for you to be hurt or abused by your husband.
History shows us that when imperfect people use their independence to get what they desire without any consideration of others and a foundation of love and honor, the result is hurt, abuse, and devastation.
Abuse/Domestic Violence, Faith Struggles and Strengthening, Fear, Oppressing Thoughts or Mind Matters, Struggles, Uncertainty in Transitions of Life
Surrender is Not Defeat
July 16, 2018The process of surrender is constant and requires you to be intentional. Ever present is our flesh self-will wanting to do things “our way” and in “our time.” However, our way is the opposite of trusting and surrendering to Jesus.
Without knowing God’s true meaning, I interpreted this chapter through the imperfect lens of my broken love experiences. My misguided understanding of love twisted my mindset. I saw love as me giving my all, while my spouse enjoyed it. I didn’t have equal expectations for the way he treated me. In this mindset, I saw the success or failure of my marriage as my sole responsibility. My one-sided and love-starved mindset and misunderstanding of God’s design for love and marriage made me vulnerable to become a victim of domestic abuse.
The primary trap for me was the illusion that my husband loved me, especially since I felt love-starved. The reason I stayed and kept trying to make my marriage work was my commitment to God in my marriage vows. I knew I had to give God and my husband my all. With my twisted understanding of love, I continued to be abused for thirteen years.
There have been many times growing up when I wished I could have pulled out my umbrella to shield myself from the storms of life. Unlike my fun in the rain as a little girl, real-life challenges have proven to be anything but fun. They also seem to come in their timing and not by your choice. As a young adult, when I faced challenges, I tried to protect myself and to find my own solutions while praying for God to help me.
However, as I have grown in a deeper understanding of Christ through our evolving relationship, I realize he is my shield of protection. He needs to be the first thing I cling to and not my thoughts or plans. Jesus himself told us we would face trials on this broken earth in our imperfect bodies. Our trials help us see the depth of our faith and what we need to work on in partnership with him. When I dwell with Jesus and allow him to direct my steps, I can rest at peace in his provision, protection, and abounding love in the midst of life’s storms. Living in faith doesn’t mean that a storm will go away unless Jesus chooses to calm my storm. It means Jesus is my umbrella and I am never alone. As I hold on to him, he keeps my sight clear and focused on his love and solutions as we walk through the storms of life together.
You cannot run before you roll over or crawl and you cannot skip the steps of healing. You will need to cross the paradigm bridge from where you are to your fresh beginning of living in Christ’s design of love. Your healing will be much like a chick breaking out of its shell or a butterfly breaking free from its cocoon.
If you struggle to embrace or adapt to change, I encourage you to investigate what makes you uncomfortable. As long as you are alive, you’ll never be free from change or challenges.
Every season during the year brings challenges, blessings, and changes to us and our environment. Each season reveals the condition of our health as we mature in life. Likewise, we can see the condition of our faith with the internal challenges of a season.
We will all face storms on this broken earth and in our imperfectness. When you let your emotions and the winds or storms in your life overshadow the power and faithfulness of Jesus Christ in you, you will feel like you are sinking. Always remember, you are in charge of your emotions and your thoughts. Only you can choose to stand on the promise of Jesus because he lives in you. He is always with you no matter where you go and how you feel.