“I grew up in a loving home, but there were times that my parents yelled at one another, called each other names, and they went for days without talking to one another. I thought this was how love looked in marriage, but this can’t be the way Jesus intended us to love,” a friend confided in me.
My friend struggled because the love and character of Jesus didn’t match the definition of love she experienced in her home. The inner conflict of the love she experienced at home compared to what she was learning about Jesus moved her to seek God’s truth. Questions are often the subtle nudge of the Holy Spirit, whispering to us that something isn’t right. When we have questions, we need to figure them out with God.
Millions of Definitions of Love are Confusing
Depending on our definition and understanding of love formed from our experiences, how can a believer know that they are loving the way Jesus wants us to? Jesus commanded us to love others as he loves us. However, if we don’t know what healthy love is, we need to study the life of Jesus.
When we look at Christ’s life, we see him meeting people with compassion, equality, and priceless value. We see Jesus acting in the fruits of the Holy Spirit: love, joy, peace, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control. Jesus asks people questions, but he is always respectful. Jesus also gives people the freedom to choose to believe in his words, follow him, or go their own way.
Every person was raised by imperfect people with imperfect definitions of love. We all form our definition of love from our beliefs, experiences, and role models. Although we receive Christ’s perfect love at our salvation, our imperfect love design isn’t instantly corrected.
Unfortunately, many churches do not teach their congregation that every believer must learn all the aspects of Christ’s love and how to live in it. Church leaders must not assume that believers know how to love like Christ. A faith leader’s responsibility is to teach them all the aspects of Christ’s love and help believers love like Jesus through teaching and discipleship. Christ’s love must be our only unified definition and standard for love.
Paul the Apostle Tells Us More
So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover’s life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God. (Phil. 1:9-11, MSG) There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears. (Phil. 1:3, MSG)
Paul’s prayers for all believers reveal that we must learn what Christ’s love looks like, says, and does. Paul realizes that because we all have different experiences and definitions of love, we must come to a unified understanding of Christ’s love to live in it. When we live in Christ’s love, we will bring God glory.
Love Like Jesus
My heart has been touched by the movie series, The Chosen, which depicts Jesus’ humanity and love in everyday life. It’s too easy to think of Jesus as a holy miracle worker and teacher and forget his human condition. The actor Jonathan Roumie, playing Jesus in this series, shows us the gentleness, humor, and humanity in God’s love.
Jesus loved us wholeheartedly and gave his life for us because he loved us beyond comprehension. What other person besides God has done this for you? What is Christ’s sacrifice worth to you?
If you claim to be a disciple of Christ, have you fully committed to following his ways and loving God, others, and yourself the way he loves you? Do you know all of the aspects of Christ’s love? Would the people in your life confirm that you love them as if they were Christ himself?
I’m so grateful that God created us with the ability to learn, make different choices, and grow. If you struggle to understand Christ’s love or even feel it because of your past, I want you to know that you are not alone. Walking with Jesus is a lifelong journey.
Take Christ’s hand and let him teach you through his word, healthy Christians in healthy loving relationships, and reading books that teach you all aspects of Christ’s love. A book to help you on your journey is Quest for Exceptional Love: Transform Your Love and Relationships Through Christ’s Love Design.
As Jesus drew closer to the end of his time of teaching his disciples, he shared his new commandment.
So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. (John 13:34, NLT)
Let us live our lives according to Christ’s love so that we honor the love and sacrifice of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!
