The reason we have abuse is because we don’t know about Christ’s true love design and therefore, we are operating from our imperfect definition, ideals, and design of love from the messages we heard, the role models we watched, and the experiences we had. When you choose to be a disciple of Christ through Salvation, you are choosing to be his apprentice. You are committing to learning his ways of love and following them to transform your love design into his.
Verbal abuse usually starts out subtly. Your abusive spouse starts insulting you and if you object, they try to justify their abuse as ‘a joke.’ This form of manipulation is used by bullies, mean girls, and abusers. When the abuser is questioned or held accountable, they turn the tables by telling the victim that they are being too touchy or sensitive. They are deflecting their responsibility and the truth.
Some of us may have grown up believing that we all get angry and say mean things, but as long as we apologize, it’s okay. This belief has a strand of truth. However, when we have this mindset, we are giving ourselves permission to speak unkind words with no consideration for the effect they will have on our victims. All words are created from our heart and it has an intent. God knows the truth even when we try to hide from it.
It’s time for Christ’s disciples to seek to know the true love design of Jesus and to know the types and signs of domestic abuse so that we are not caught unaware. Because we live in this broken world where the devil has influence, we must prepare ourselves with the knowledge of his schemes.
I realized that my whole life had been a quest to find Christ’s true love. I had traded up to lesser abuse with each marriage, while I tried to find Christ’s love through my broken love design.
We can’t earn or prove that we are worthy of being loved, we only need to accept that we are loved unconditionally by Jesus.
When we have grown up in an unhealthy, dysfunctional, or negative environment, we may not realize how we have learned to talk destructively to ourselves, especially when we face a challenge.
When you continually let yourself get rundown from serving others, you are not loving yourself.
People who have been in abusive relationships are deceived into believing their abuse is their fault. Their abuser specializes in placing the blame of his sinful actions on the victim. Abusers use blame to defect the truth and to avoid taking responsibility for their sinful actions. Abuse is NEVER the victim’s fault. People can always walk away if they’re upset. It’s never God’s will or the character and teaching of Jesus Christ to let someone abuse you. God’s truth says the opposite. Love others AS you love yourself, is His second greatest commandment.