Tag: abusive marriage

Abuse/Domestic Violence, Love, Love and Marriage Christian

How Words Shape Your Love Design

The top type of abuse that is rarely acknowledged or addressed in marriages is verbal abuse. Verbal abuse speaks in disrespectful, degrading, dishonoring manners to manipulate, control, and overpower their spouse psychologically. No  one is immune to this learned form of toxic, abusive communication, not even “Christians.”

Many Cristian marriages struggle with fighting, sarcasm, and painful words. They want their marriage to be happy. However, they’re not taught to recognize the verbal cycle of abuse or stop it with Jesus. Let’s look at the husband’s words and the wife’s words to see how the cycle of destruction and abuse happens.

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Abuse/Domestic Violence, Love, Love and Marriage Christian, Relationships

How to Tell if Your Love Design Follows Christ’s

If you’re a disciple of Christ, and you sense that you’re stuck in an unhealthy or abusive cycle of communication or behaviors in your marriage, listen to the leading of the Holy Spirit. As you learn from this blog post, there are various factors that many Christians are never made aware of or taught. However, now you know that you have an option to learn how to operate in Christ’s love design instead of using your broken love design.

You can stop struggling to fix your marriage and learn about Christ’s love design. As you work with him and uncover the lies you have believed, he will transform your definition and design of love into his. When you’re using Christ’s love design, you take the tug of wills between your broken love design and your spouse’s out of your relationship.

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Abuse/Domestic Violence, Faith Struggles and Strengthening, Love, Love and Marriage Christian

What is a Love Design and How Does It Work?

The enemy wants us to believe our broken love is automatically transformed into God’s and Christ’s love when we receive Salvation. We never stop to evaluate our definition and understanding of love. Most Christians are not taught to look at their love design and learn about Christ’s to see the differences. We don’t know what we don’t know, and nothing will change until we learn and live in God’s truth.

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Abuse/Domestic Violence, Faith Struggles and Strengthening, Love

3 Essential Steps to Love Like Jesus Through His Gospel

The Gospel of Jesus Christ and the truth of God show us Christ’s love that is beyond anything we can imagine. As his disciples, we can thrive in his love, even in the challenges of our lives. I would not have overcome three abusive marriages and divorces without Jesus.  I would still be imprisoned in the cycle of domestic abuse.

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Abuse/Domestic Violence, Faith Struggles and Strengthening, Love

Greatest Misunderstood Abuse: Verbal Abuse

Some of us may have grown up believing that we all get angry and say mean things, but as long as we apologize, it’s okay. This belief has a strand of truth. However, when we have this mindset, we are giving ourselves permission to speak unkind words with no consideration for the effect they will have on our victims. All words are created from our heart and it has an intent. God knows the truth even when we try to hide from it.

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Abuse/Domestic Violence, Faith Struggles and Strengthening, Fear, Love, Relationships, Struggles

What is the Love Chapter?

Without knowing God’s true meaning, I interpreted this chapter through the imperfect lens of my broken love experiences. My misguided understanding of love twisted my mindset. I saw love as me giving my all, while my spouse enjoyed it. I didn’t have equal expectations for the way he treated me. In this mindset, I saw the success or failure of my marriage as my sole responsibility. My one-sided and love-starved mindset and misunderstanding of God’s design for love and marriage made me vulnerable to become a victim of domestic abuse.

The primary trap for me was the illusion that my husband loved me, especially since I felt love-starved. The reason I stayed and kept trying to make my marriage work was my commitment to God in my marriage vows. I knew I had to give God and my husband my all. With my twisted understanding of love, I continued to be abused for thirteen years.

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