Although fairytale fantasies are fiction, we often face some of the same elements in our life. We face difficult people and circumstances, we struggle with fear and self-worth, and we want our happily-ever-after on this broken earth. In our real life, every choice has an effect and consequence. We can’t wish our challenges away or pretend they don’t exist like in a fantasy.
The best place to start asking questions is with yourself. You must know what you believe, why you believe it, and what God’s truth says about your faith and love. When you know your truth, you can have a conversation with your spouse without feeling like you need to defend yourself or change their mind.
Remember, questions in Christ’s love allows your spouse to answer from their perspective, understanding, opinions, and beliefs. It’s your time to listen and see where they come from and what is in their heart. It’s not your job to change their mind or try to fix them. When they ask what you think, share your truths, and create a safe place, you can discuss how you see things differently and why.
When you continually let yourself get rundown from serving others, you are not loving yourself.
Without knowing God’s true meaning, I interpreted this chapter through the imperfect lens of my broken love experiences. My misguided understanding of love twisted my mindset. I saw love as me giving my all, while my spouse enjoyed it. I didn’t have equal expectations for the way he treated me. In this mindset, I saw the success or failure of my marriage as my sole responsibility. My one-sided and love-starved mindset and misunderstanding of God’s design for love and marriage made me vulnerable to become a victim of domestic abuse.
The primary trap for me was the illusion that my husband loved me, especially since I felt love-starved. The reason I stayed and kept trying to make my marriage work was my commitment to God in my marriage vows. I knew I had to give God and my husband my all. With my twisted understanding of love, I continued to be abused for thirteen years.