Turkey, dressing, pumpkin pie, happy times with family and friends, or turkey, anxiety, difficult relatives, resentment, and the constant fear of your spouse blowing up?
I never grew up going to Grandma’s house for Thanksgiving. I didn’t have the opportunity to spend it with aunts, uncles, or cousins. For several years in my pre-teen life, my family spent Thanksgiving with close dear friends. We ate until we couldn’t move and then we played games or took a nap. These were some of the most treasured times in my life.
Many of you have these treasured times with family. Some of you have never experienced a warm and loving Thanksgiving, because of one or both of your parent’s volatile mood and hurtful outbursts. Some of you, like me, moved from some wonderful memories into an unpredictable dark cloud of memories from your abusive spouse. Even if you are in an abusive marriage or relationship you can choose to create happy times. In fact, if you have children it is your responsibility to show them they have the power to create their own happiness even in the most challenging times.
Avoid Getting Sucked Into The Darkness
It’s easy to get overwhelmed and sucked into the dark survival mode in an abusive marriage or relationship. What if you could use a recipe to create times of joy and hope this Thanksgiving for you and your children. Do you have anything to lose?
To create your unique recipe, write your list of ingredients in your own handwriting. Your ingredients are all the things you’re specifically thankful for in your life. They can be as big as breathing to as small as catching a snowflake on your tongue. Are you thankful for your health, faith in Jesus, God’s love, Jesus dying for you, His promise to never leave you, hugs and smiles from your children, smells of the Holidays, popcorn at the movies, and a puppy wagging it’s tail?
Take your list and plan specific times when you can be alone, or you and your children can be free from your abusive spouse and bring out your list. Thank Jesus for each of your blessings. Add any other ingredients your children want and discuss why they choose their special ingredient. What is so wonderful about their choice? How does it make them feel. Take time and enjoy these moments. You are teaching yourself and your children how to use gratefulness to overpower fear, anxiety, and depression. Have everyone choose three favorites. Give your children a special piece of paper. Have them write them down their three favorites in their own handwriting. Tell them to take the note with them so they can read it anytime they want.
You Have The Power To Choose
You have the choice to celebrate the blessings in your life or focus on the challenges. You also have the opportunity to show your children the power of choice they have over their mind, heart, and spirit regardless of the circumstances in their life. If you and your children could make your holiday better or keep it the same, what would all of you choose?
